Second conference- reflection(revised)

From this conference, I get my midterm essay. I find many problems from the composition. First, I have to use the correct word to express my ideas. That is to say, I have to avoid thinking as a Chinese way, and trying to think as a foreigner. I also have to learn more new words, and then I can have a well word controlling. It is quite hard for me because I need to increase my reading quality and quantity as soon as possible.
According to teacher's feedback, I also get the same suggestion. I need to read more English article in order to use the right word in compositions. I have to work on grammar. For example, to avoid making a wrong sentence structure. Second, I have to paragraph my article appropriate and to avoid long sentence. That is to say, I need to put the clear main ideas in every paragraph.
Thank to my group member’s suggestion that I can know my mistake of the midterm exam essay. First, it is lack of examples in my article. If I put more the object examples or sharing more about my experience, it will be persuasive. Second, I have some wrong spelling words in my article; I have to revise it clearly! Third, I can use some transitional words to make my article fluently. That is to say, I need to pay attention on the connection between paragraphs to paragraph. I agree with the suggestion because the transitional words can make my article more logical and easy to read.
I find that I usually to write in a formal way. For example, the words “talk” and “tell” are informal, I should to remember this. I also need to put more object examples into my article to support my arguments. Besides, as what teacher said, we usually make the same mistakes time after time. We usually can not find out the mistake we make, if we just check out by ourselves. That's the reason why to ask students do the peer revision. I think that change ideas by each other can help us to discover something we usually miss before. For example, according to the suggestion from my teammate, I find that I need to put more specific evidence to convince my readers. I think this can be a great example to used in my article. One of reasons to writing the work sheet is to change the ideas each other. I think that we can learn more by sharing the ideas and opinions with everyone. Therefore, the argument in my article is supporting to use work sheet to share, and actually we do the same thing-sharing the ideas on Internet in our real life.
To conclude, after receiving my annotations, I was so disappointed to myself. I need to work hard for revising my errors in my composition. The first thing to do is to "improve my reading and writing skill". "No pain, no gain!" If I want to make a progress, it is time to work hard now!